With all these new laws, states of confusion

Lord knows it's not easy living in a border town, especially Lebanon.

When you go to Rochester, a stone's throw across the Salmon Falls River, and say you're from Lebanon, they say, "What you doin' all t'way down heah from Lebanon, New Hampshire."

"We're actually from Lebanon, Maine," we reply sheepishly.

"Where's dat?"

"Ah, it's like, just next door, like, literally, next door," we say.

But in recent years it's gotten more difficult, and in July, well, fah-get about it.

That's when the mobile electronic device Hands Free law goes into effect in the Granite State; that's New Hampshire, by the way.

The Hands Free law will prohibit the use of all mobile electronic devices while driving, including cellphones, Ipods, Ipads (can someone tell me the difference, like I care) GPS, flashlights and food processors.

The last two were just to see if you were awake.

Anyway, the problem is we here in Lebanon, Maine, that is, we do a lot business in Rochester, because for many, of us, it's closer than Sanford. (Has nothing to do with something called a sales tax.) So we do a lot of driving in both states.

So come July 1 it's gets dicey. We can talk on our cellphone in Maine, but when we get to Rochester, we have to put it down on the seat, hook a wire from the phone to our car stereo and continue the conversation hands free. That's gonna be a lot of activity when you get close to the border. Don't get distracted doing the switchover!

Then when you leave Rochester don't forget to unhook the phone-car stereo wire and return the cellphone to the crook of your neck and shoulder the way you have come to love to continue your nonstop palavering.

So it's getting a little more confusing driving between the two states, for sure.

Already I have to remember to take off my seat belt when I cross into New Hampshire. I have to admit sometimes I forget and leave it on. Well, Mr. lawmaker guy, Nobody's perfect!

Recently I was driving on Garage Way in Milton about to cross over into Lebanon, not wearing my seat belt like a good boy, I might add, and spied a Maine State Police Cruiser on the Lebanon side headed toward Milton. He saw me, I saw him, I put my seat belt on and we met at the middle of the bridge. A few seconds earlier and I might have been out 150 bucks.

Which makes me think, Just think if we all lived somewhere in the middle of some state - 100 miles from the nearest state border - we wouldn't have to worry about two sets of laws. Life would be so simple.

Of course, there is an alternative. You could just wear your seat belt all the time. And you could just always go Hands Free with your cellphone and other electronic mobile devices.

Nah! What are you, crazy?